Rouwen maakt je sterker. Het is door de pijn ploeteren, verwerken en loslaten. Wie een dierbare heeft verloren, hoort ze wel vaker, de zo goedbedoelde ideeën of adviezen rond wat het ‘juiste’ rouwpad zou zijn. ‘Toch is rouwen, hoewel universeel, eerder een veelkleurig landschap waarin elke rouwende zijn eigen unieke traject bewandelt. Vooral dàt mogen we niet uit het oog verliezen wanneer we voor rouwenden willen zorgen’, vertelt klinisch psycholoog Let Dillen (Palliatief Support Team UZ Gent) over de nieuwe visie op rouw.
‘Ik leer zoveel van rouw en verlies’. Na studies psychologie en een doctoraat over rouw bij kinderen en jongeren, ging Let Dillen eerst aan de slag als onderzoeker in het kankercentrum van het UZ Gent. Sinds drie jaar (‘ik sta nogal voor de dialectiek tussen theorie en praktijk’, zegt ze) maakt ze als klinisch psycholoog deel uit van het palliatief support team van het ziekenhuis. ‘Een bijzondere job, dat klopt, maar vooral een mooie’, vertelt Let. ‘De verwachting geconfronteerd te worden met lijden en verlies zonder daarin geraakt te zijn, is bijna even onrealistisch als door water lopen zonder nat te worden’, gaat een citaat. Zorg verlenen betekent sowieso op pad gaan met patiënten, hen heel nabij zijn, eerlijk en kwetsbaar zoeken en puzzelen. Verlies hoort daar bij. Ik kan me niet voorstellen niét meer met deze thema’s bezig te zijn, omdat ik er zoveel uit leer. Of de confrontatie met palliatieve patiënten en hun naasten ook hard is? Soms. Goed voor jezelf zorgen is cruciaal, zoals voor iedereen die in de sector werkt.’
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